|
Jokes 2018- A place to post all your clean family oriented Jokes. Please do not post a Joke that you wouldn't want all your family members and friends to read. |
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
01-15-2020, 05:31 AM | #1 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NW Montana
Age: 67
Posts: 13,730
|
I got banned from Murdoch's Ranch and Home Supply
I got banned from Murdoch's Ranch and Home Supply
Yesterday I was at my local Murdoch's store buying a large bag of my dog's food for my loyal border collie and was in the checkout, when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog? What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I started the Dog Diet again. I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentuially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention her that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because of the dog foor poisoning me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end, and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Murdoch's. Better watch what you asked retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of things to say. You could forward this to your friends, (especially your mature friends.... it will be there laugh for the day.
__________________
They call me a Fudd (Fatal Urban Dealer of Death) because I carry a .45 ACP
(1) 45 ACP = (2) 9MM |
01-15-2020, 10:09 AM | #2 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Kansas
Age: 80
Posts: 64,188
|
Now that's just plain funny!
__________________
I'm old enough to remember when mentally ill people were placed in hospitals, not in Congress or the White House.
|
01-15-2020, 10:55 AM | #3 |
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Florida
Age: 76
Posts: 62,704
|
|
01-15-2020, 02:01 PM | #4 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,859
|
__________________
Ben |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|