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Jokes 2018- A place to post all your clean family oriented Jokes. Please do not post a Joke that you wouldn't want all your family members and friends to read.

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Old 01-15-2020, 05:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NW Montana
Age: 63
Posts: 5,829
Default I got banned from Murdoch's Ranch and Home Supply

I got banned from Murdoch's Ranch and Home Supply

Yesterday I was at my local Murdoch's store buying a large
bag of my dog's food for my loyal border collie and was in
the checkout, when a woman behind me asked if I had a

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired
and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't
have a dog, I started the Dog Diet again. I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 10
pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentuially a perfect diet and the way
that it works is to load your pockets with dog nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food
is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I was going to
try it again. (I have to mention her that practically everyone
in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because
of the dog foor poisoning me. I told her no, I stepped off the
curb to sniff an Irish Setter's rear end, and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Murdoch's.

Better watch what you asked retired people. They have all the
time in the world to think of things to say.

You could forward this to your friends, (especially your mature
friends.... it will be there laugh for the day.
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Old 01-15-2020, 10:09 AM   #2
rman's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Kansas
Age: 76
Posts: 40,743

Now that's just plain funny!
I used to be short, young and good looking. Believe it or not, I'm still short.
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Old 01-15-2020, 10:55 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Florida
Age: 72
Posts: 39,932

Sent from my rotary phone.

Hero's don't wear capes, they wear dog tags or badges.

US Army vet 1965-1971
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Old 01-15-2020, 02:01 PM   #4
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Location: North Carolina
Posts: 7,379
Thumbs up

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