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Jokes 2018- A place to post all your clean family oriented Jokes. Please do not post a Joke that you wouldn't want all your family members and friends to read.

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Old 03-05-2019, 07:08 AM   #1
rman
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Default A few quick jokes

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently, a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild love making, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A teenage boy asks his granny: "Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?" Granny replies: "The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?"

Wife gets naked and asks hubby: "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?" Hubby looks her up and down and replies: "Your sense of humor!" (Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00.)

I woke up this morning at 9:00 and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves breakfast until 10:30.

My missus packed my bags and as I walked out the front door. She screamed: "I wish you a slow and painful death!" I replied: "Oh, so now you want me to stay!"

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her: "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!" (The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.)
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Old 03-05-2019, 02:07 PM   #2
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Old 03-05-2019, 06:13 PM   #3
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