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Jokes 2006-2017 A place to post all your clean family oriented Jokes. Please do not post a Joke that you wouldn't want all your family members and friends to read. |
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09-23-2017, 08:33 AM | #1 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NW Montana
Age: 67
Posts: 13,730
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Best Divorce Letter Ever
THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!
Dear husband, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good wife to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new silk Sheer Lingerie Gown. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your hunting shows. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife P.S. don't try to find me. Your brother & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good wife is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my hunting shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was "You look just like a guy!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating lamb 7 years ago. About that new Sheer Lingerie Gown: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born my sister and named Kathy. I hope that's not a problem.
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They call me a Fudd (Fatal Urban Dealer of Death) because I carry a .45 ACP
(1) 45 ACP = (2) 9MM |
09-23-2017, 10:39 AM | #2 |
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Florida
Age: 76
Posts: 62,704
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Any of my divorced buddies that lucky?
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09-23-2017, 02:10 PM | #3 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Kansas
Age: 80
Posts: 64,188
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That is the best!
Not me Vetter!
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I'm old enough to remember when mentally ill people were placed in hospitals, not in Congress or the White House.
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09-24-2017, 06:23 PM | #4 |
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southern Kansas
Age: 70
Posts: 27,520
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Never take a squat with your spurs on. Will Rogers |
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