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Old 09-23-2017, 08:33 AM   #1
J_B
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Default Best Divorce Letter Ever

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!

Dear husband, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good wife to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new silk Sheer Lingerie Gown. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your hunting shows. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife P.S. don't try to find me. Your brother & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good wife is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my hunting shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was "You look just like a guy!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating lamb 7 years ago. About that new Sheer Lingerie Gown: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born my sister and named Kathy. I hope that's not a problem.
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Old 09-23-2017, 10:39 AM   #2
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Talking

Any of my divorced buddies that lucky?
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Old 09-23-2017, 02:10 PM   #3
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That is the best!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZO6Vettever View Post
Any of my divorced buddies that lucky?
Not me Vetter!
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Old 09-24-2017, 06:23 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rman View Post
That is the best!



Not me Vetter!
Me either
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