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Jokes 2018- A place to post all your clean family oriented Jokes. Please do not post a Joke that you wouldn't want all your family members and friends to read. |
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03-22-2020, 09:56 AM | #1 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NW Montana
Age: 67
Posts: 13,730
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Good Ones From the Good Ol' Days
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Montana. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face. Red Skelton was a comic who was just funny and not dirty!
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They call me a Fudd (Fatal Urban Dealer of Death) because I carry a .45 ACP
(1) 45 ACP = (2) 9MM |
03-22-2020, 01:15 PM | #2 |
Extraordinary Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Kansas
Age: 80
Posts: 64,188
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You had to love Red and his jokes. Too bad no one has followed in his footsteps.
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I'm old enough to remember when mentally ill people were placed in hospitals, not in Congress or the White House.
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03-23-2020, 09:47 AM | #3 |
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Florida
Age: 76
Posts: 62,704
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He was sure funny!
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