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Old 09-23-2019, 08:25 AM   #1
J_B
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Default From Bill Jordan's - No Second Place Winner

From Bill Jordan's No Second Place Winner; There was the night in El Paso when a Border Patrol team, going in to the river at dusk to watch a hot crossing, ran head on into a smuggling train coming out of the river at that point. Now these affairs had been going on so long that they had through custom become pretty highly formalized. The boss smuggler would hire Pistoleros to guard his shipment, the number and quality of these reflected in the value of the cargo and the prestige to be maintained or enhanced by the smuggler. These Pistoleros, with the highest paid and most valiente leading the way, formed the vanguard. The "bearers" followed them with some of the lesser bravos and the smueeler himself bringing up the rear.

Generally speaking, polite usage required that certain amenities be observed before hostilities were opened. One of the Patrol group was expected to sing out Manos Arriba. Federales! ? meaning, "Hands up. Federal Officers!" At this challenge the smugglers had several avenues open to them. They could follow instructions; drop everything and run; or fight; all according to the mood of the moment, the tactical situation, and/or the quality of the escort. On this particular occasion the surprise of the meeting was so complete that someone impolitely fired a shot without waiting for the conventional challenge and instantly the shooting became general. Most of the smugglers,

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after dropping the contraband, got safely back across the river. Normally at
this point they would have been expected to shrug the whole thing off as one of the vicissitudes of the business in which they were engaged and with true Latin philosophy conclude that it hadn't been such a good idea for today to begin with ? so ? maybe next week things would be better.

But this was different! Filled with indignation at what must have been
considered a complete failure to observe the proper amenities, as soon as their own side of the river was reached, a hot fire was opened on the side they had just departed. Of course, the Border Patrolmen were likewise outraged at this open display of bad manners. And since it also appeared probable that some violation of International Law was involved by this unwarranted aggression on the part of their opponents ? like possibly lack of proper respect for U. S. territory ? after due consideration, the fire was returned. Friends of the combatants on the Mexican side heard the commotion and hastened to the aid of their embattled compatriots. Likewise, all Border Patrolmen, and in fact apparently everyone else within earshot, joined in and the battle became general. So general that on this side of the river people that nobody knew were coming up to the officers and borrowing ammunition!

Everybody was having a good time ? it beat sitting and watching a dull
crossing where nothing was happening ? and nobody was getting hurt to
amount to anything, so the battle raged all night until daylight brought its
reminders of responsibilities and the fight was mutually brought to a halt.

These responsibilities were quickly brought to the attention of the Senior
Border Patrol officer on the scene when he received "the word" that the
District Director wished to "confer" with him about the evening's activities.
He approached this interview with considerable misgiving, and rightly so, the
District Director being an irascible old gentleman by the name of Mr. Wilmoth who was noted for eating Patrol officers without bothering to slick down their ears; and who was further known to take the dimmest of views of such carryings on as had occurred during the late evening's festivities ? regrettably, but undeniably, under the supervision of this aforementioned young Senior.

Upon entering the Director's "den" his worst fears were quickly realized.
He was met with a roar that blasted him back on his heels and which translated into something like "I want an explanation as to why once that smuggling train was back across the river you didn't take your men and get to work instead of fooling around there enjoying yourselves all evening like you did?"

With admirable presence of mind under the circumstances the young officer
countered hopefully with, "Mr. Wilmoth, I wanted to leave there the worst

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way! But the fire from the other side was so intense that we were hopelessly
pinned down. Why, it was all a man's life was worth just to lift his
head ? much less try to leave!"

I think it best to pull the curtain at this point. You see, Mr. Wilmoth was
aware of the three details which had gone back to headquarters during the
night to bring up more ammunition!

read the entire book here.
https://archive.org/stream/No_Second...ordan_djvu.txt
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Old 09-24-2019, 07:49 AM   #2
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That's a great book! Definitely well worth reading. I've got an old hard copy around here someplace. Jordan and Skeeter Skelton are my favorite story tellers.
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Old 09-25-2019, 06:26 AM   #3
glockensig
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Great read!
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