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Old 10-08-2018, 09:15 PM   #1
J_B
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Default A Cowboy Named Bud

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that??

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer
I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."
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Old 10-09-2018, 08:00 AM   #2
ZO6Vettever
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I thought that was a story about greener until it was revealed he was a Congressman! I bet greener would have taken a 3 month old lamb, he knows his meat and lamb 3 months or less is the most tender and mildest tasting meat from a sheep. Besides that it would fit in the Miata's trunk with the top down.
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Old 10-09-2018, 02:53 PM   #3
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The punch line came out of nowhere.
A great joke.
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Old 10-10-2018, 08:24 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZO6Vettever View Post
I thought that was a story about greener until it was revealed he was a Congressman! I bet greener would have taken a 3 month old lamb, he knows his meat and lamb 3 months or less is the most tender and mildest tasting meat from a sheep. Besides that it would fit in the Miata's trunk with the top down.
I'd have Google and Alexa discuss which was better
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Old 10-12-2018, 12:41 PM   #5
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Didn't see that one coming J_B!
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