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Old 09-13-2017, 07:33 AM   #1
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J_B's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: NW Montana
Age: 61
Posts: 3,679
Default Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Lab Work, Then Cat Scan.jpg (95.2 KB, 2 views)
"Evil prevails when good men do nothing."
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Old 09-13-2017, 03:19 PM   #2
rman's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northeast Kansas
Age: 74
Posts: 33,489

She should have listened to him.
"Blessed are those who, in the face of death, think only about the front sight." --Jeff Cooper
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Old 09-13-2017, 05:47 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Southern Kansas
Age: 64
Posts: 27,305

Never take a squat with your spurs on.

Will Rogers
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Old 09-15-2017, 10:49 AM   #4
ZO6Vettever's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Florida, the "Gunshine" State
Age: 70
Posts: 31,972

Cat scans and Lab Work ain't cheap!
Sent from my rotary phone.

Hero's don't wear capes, they wear dog tags or badges.
US Army vet 1965-1971
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